Sometimes just the way you say things, the tone or verbiage will make all the difference in getting the kids to contribute with the chores on the list. For instance, if you tell your teen to take out the garbage instead of asking, it comes across as a demand. Simply asking one time with a firm direct request and kindly, is all that you should do. If the chore is not completed, approach the teen as if you are a team. Give a gentle reminder such as “Let’s not forget to put out the trash”. When you constantly remind by nagging or raising your voice, yelling, and saying things like, “why haven’t you put out the trash” or “what is your problem?” sets the tone as if you think they are already a failure.
If the task is not completed, then a reasonable consequence is needed. Don’t get in the habit of constantly reminding, which becomes nagging, even if there’s no raising of voice. One request nicely, one gentle reminder and then a consequence if not completed. This is the simple system taught by many experts so no parent needs to yell or nag but just implement consequences as in the real work-world. Carry out the consequence without fail.
Kids by nature want to please, giving praise for jobs well done doesn’t end with young children, it continues through adulthood. We all have the need to know we have done well as we continuing building self-confidence throughout our lives. Motivating teens to complete tasks can be tricky but standing calming with your consequences at all times will support respect and responsibility and equip them for success outside of your household.
Here are ten examples of motivational tools for your kids.
- Have an incentive for completing the chore.
- Provide and carry out consequences if the chore is not complete, calmly, letting them know this will always be the case, choose not to do the chore is choosing consequences. Simple.
- Make it less of a chore and more of a responsibility letting them know you can also count on them with respect.
- Make it fun as possible.
- Be sure the chore is age appropriate.
- Give praise to promote confidence.
- Don’t constantly correct the way they are accomplishing the chore as long as it is getting done.
- Help them with the chore if they need direction at first and set a good example.
- Give them options for chores, let them choose from a list.
- Come to an agreement and be clear with your expectations and time frames of completion.
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